I read that book too

received_10155151480209635I have a keen observation to make, so bear with me: When it comes to relationships, and men & women living together, loving eachother, and understanding one another, countless books have been devoted to the topic…

And yet, here we are today, in 2017, the greatest year in our world’s history and we remain completely clueless as to understanding the opposite sex.

I’ve read many books on Love & Relationships, and before you even  ask it: “MEN ARE FROM MARS AND…” yeah, I read that book too.  And I agree with almost every written word from the many sincere and experienced authors…but I remained dumbfounded about some things regarding my significant other.  I just didn’t understand why she got so frustrated at me.  For instance…

When she would ask me what time I would be home from work, I would usually say, “Honey, I don’t know for sure – I should be home from work sometime around 5:30 pm.”  Now, within my sincere answer I would naturally include the unspoken traffic clause, the talk with my buddies in the parking lot clause, and the sudden urge to stop at the store for a beer clause.  That is what I conveyed to her when I started out with, “Honey, I don’t know for sure -”

But I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if at 5:33 pm, I’m not home and in my Lazyboy, she would invaribly blow up my phone. “Where are you?  You said you would be home by 5:30!”  What my sweetheart didn’t hear in my statements to her were my clauses, and I couldn’t understand why not!

“Uh, honey, I’m sitting in traffic right now, trying to make it home,” I would reply.  “Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were going to be late?” She would respond.  “Uh, maybe because I didn’t anticipate the 9 car pile up accident in front of me?!?”

After years of just such frustratingly  aggravating conversations, it finally dawned on me, and like a lightening bolt, it hit me: Women are literal interpreters, and men are generalizers.  Women see black & white very clearly, and men see a thousand shades of grey.

Where men use general phrases to convey a point, women use specific, precise phraseology.  And THAT is why we don’t understand what each other are saying all the time! (Let me qualify myself by saying, I did not hear an audible voice when this lightbulb went off in my head, but hey, I could’ve!)

Because of this incredibly astounding epiphany, I’ve decided that I’m going to write my own relationship book.  I’m going to title it, ” UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: A LITERAL EXPLANATION OF GENERALIZATIONS.”  Or something like that.  And you, dear reader, may consider this blog a sneak peek at the first chapter!  I really think I’m on to something here… Stay tuned!

1 Comment

  1. Can I please have the first signed copy? Or better yet why don’t we co-author the book? We could call it “The Theory of Love”. Or how about “Kill That Bitch”? Yes, the perfect one “Venus exposes Uranus”.
    lol I crack myself up.
    I LOVE YOU!!


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